Honestly, when we first started to work on making blogs for this class, I never really thought about what it was I was going to blog on. My life at that point in time was very hazy and I was lost more often then not. I felt at a standstill in what ever it was I did in life, and I thought that nothing would every change.
But then I started writing. And writing. And writing again and again until I found myself asking questions I didn't know the answers to. Answers I wanted to find, ones that felt as if they had been hidden for a very long time. And yet it was as if I knew the answer all along, I just didn't look hard enough.
It's funny really how things can change just like that. I started with nothing and ended up making something after all. This blog was really therapeutic in the long run, and I guess that's why writing is my hidden talent. I never really understood what writing would do for me in the aspects as a major, but I now have an understanding of how writing can be good for the soul, in lack of better terms.
And with that, this chapter of my life is drawing to it's end, as with this blog. I feel as if I have finally reached a profound truth in my life, and that is really all I was looking for. Rather than keep myself trapped in the pages of a digital journal, I'm going to try and be a better person in real life so that I can start my long road to recovery.
But for now, I want to get some things off my chest before I go, certain things I have come to realize in the past few weeks.
"23 things I have come to understand."
1. I exist.
2. I am always repeating words and using cheesy lines more often than I want to.
3. I have a mental sickness that has no cure and I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life.
4. I will become a better person, just one step at a time.
5. I will always have days where I will hate myself and everything I've done.
6. My life is not over and I will always have more things happen.
7. Friends come and go like water and wine, but savor the moments you shared.
8. Always change.
9. It is hard for me to sometimes get a thought out.
10. I do not know enough about having healthy relationships.
11. Thinking is good, but stop over thinking things.
12. I know that I may not find my worthy cause until I am old and grey.
13. I regret that I could have spent my youth better.
14. I should not hold myself accountable for not knowing everything.
15. Katawa Shoujo is the only game to ever make me cry.
16. We all have disabilities; some aren't as visible as others.
17. The smallest choices can have the greatest outcomes, for better or worse.
18. Romance can happen at any given time. Patience pays off.
19. I have to learn to let go.
20. No one needs a white knight; we just need someone there to help us stand up.
21. I admit that I can get obsessive over certain things.
22. I feel emotional sometimes; it reminds me that I'm still human.
23. Life is always a journey of moving forward; sometimes you're alone or sometimes you're not. Just keep moving.
I don't normally get cheesy like this, but I'm trying to open up more. All this talk about becoming a better person is rather annoying now that I think about it. Rather, I should just be what I want to be.
Me.
And that's all there is to it.
To whatever may
come this way;
good night
and good luck.
~Cameron
This is all great stuff.
ReplyDeleteI would point out that being corny isn't a bad thing. More often than not, when I say something corny to people they're often happy that I did. Even if it sounds silly, people appreciate honesty.
It's important to note, though, that honesty doesn't always take form in words.